Monday, March 22, 2010

Man* Versus Blog

* Title FN: "Man", here, very loosely defined, and if you need to know why, well, you haven't really been paying much attention, have you? But if you do, just go look at the comment I left on Kanada Keef post today, because, man, that'll tell you all you need to know and it is, sadly, 100% true.
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Most of the running blogs I read are blogspot-based blogs. However I also read two and a half1 wordpress-based ones. The wordpress-based ones2 are okay except for the small fact that they totally fucking suck.

Now of course, I don't mean the content of the blogs suck; I mean the wordpress software sucks, and yes I have my reasons for saying this and yes I intend to share those reasons with you and yes they will be buried in my usual logorrheic flurry of irrelevancies and therefore YES, I DO INTEND TO MAKE YOU WORK FOR IT!1! FUCKING CRYBABIES!1!

I used to think the wordpress blogs were cool and when I read one or posted a comment to it, I tried to act cool myself because I wanted to impress the wordpress software because I reckoned if it thought I was cool it would like hang out with me and maybe even tell one of its many girlfriends to "be nice to me", if you get my drift.  Because the wordpress blogs had like tabs and when you commented you could reply directly to others' comments and then reply directly to that reply and so on and you could use like the [strike] tag in a comment which is cool because that one isn't already WAAAYYY overused by bloggers and you could seemingly do all these cool things while still being basically as digitally and computer-relatedly fucktarded as LooMoo3.

But I soon cooled to wordpress (the software) because it requires that you enter an e-mail address before it will let you comment. This was not that big a problem until I found out that you better fucking well remember the bogus e-mail address you put in because if you don't and you try a different one?

YOUR COMMENT WILL GET EATED BY TEH WORDPRESS SOFTWARE!1!

You see, I use Firefox on a Macintosh and I occasionally clear out my browser's cache (as one ought to do every once in a while) and when you do that? Firefox "forgets" whatever it was you put in the three fields the wordpress software asks you to fill out every time you comment4.

And that's what it did when I went to comment at cv's blog like 5 or 6 daze ago.

So okay, I put gqh in the name field, then I put noreply@blogger.com in the e-mail field, because I'm pretty sure that's what I used before, and then I type my usual loooooong, insulting NC-17-rated comment ...

AND WORDPRESS EATED IT!1!

So then I typed another, and it EATED THAT!1!

And so but then this fucked my whole world up because this is the first time I got furious at someone or -thing and found myself screaming at it "DON'T  EAT ME!1!" It's just unnatural to tell something you hate not to eat you.

And the same thing happened to my various comments at LuMu's blog!1! And I couldn't, for the life of me, remember what bogus e-mail address I had been using, and so wordpress kept EATING ME!1!

Finally, finally — just the other day, I decided to try yet another bogus address.

And so using the (as far as I know, bogus) e-mail address of phuk@u.org5, I was able to see my own comments and I got the "your comments are being moderated" message. And finally, TODAY, the comments are there on those blogs without the "you're being moderated" designation and I know other readers can see them (at least at LuMu's) because Kanada Keef already responded to one, claiming he was NOT the one who started the blogospheric whispering campaign claiming that LuMu is totally into anal, which is a TOTAL lie. I mean the part about Kanada Keef's not being the one who started that rumor (he did start it). Because L. Moose?

TOTALLY into anal. And it must be true because I read it on teh Intertubes.

In conclusion:

YOU SUCK, WORDPRESS!1!
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1 The half-blog is Needledick's, which counts as only half a blog, half a blog, half a blog forward, because Needle posts like maybe, MAYBE once a quarter; evidently because that's about how often he runs. If there were Truth in Advertising laws in teh blogosphere (which thank god there are not)? Yeah, the name of Needle's blog would have to be changed from its current Needle Is Running to like Needle is — Pfffttt! — "Running".
 
2 The other two: LuMu's and carpe viam's.

3 No offense, LuMu. I believe these are the very words you yourself used to describe your computer skillz, though. If it wasn't you who said that, I think it was Xenia. Point is, I'm not to blame for this characterization of your computer skills. But look, I'm not some heartless ogre3a, so if you leave a comment indicating that you are offended, in any way, by this characterization3b, I promise I will come back and edit this post so that the offending phrase is in strike-through text, like this, because that'll make it all better and, yeah, THAT'S not overdone in Teh Running 'Blogosphere.

3a Full Disclosure: Yes I am.

3b Of Xenia's.

4 Two fields — Name and E-mail Address — are required; one — web site address — is optional.

5 The ".org" in this case stands for ".orgasm", and if you've never had a ".orgasm" that means one of two things:

1. You haven't really lived.
2. You're married to Needledick.

Possibly both.

5 comments:

  1. Hey1! Your absurd accusations are....um...well...pretty spot on. Except for that orgasm thing. I think that she may have had one or two in the 20 years we have been together.

    Yeah, the new title should be "Needle maybe, possible, considering, thinking about Running"

    Too long?

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  2. I see you now have devolved the 4-in-1 into two blogs. Slippery slope, G.

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  3. While I am sorry that my blog eated you, you kinda have it coming, seeing as you persist in spreading terrible, vile rumors about me...which might possibly be true.

    NOT the anal, damn it!! I hate it, I swear. But the whole "digitally and computer-relatedly fucktarded" accusation? Completely true. But I DID just manage to cut and paste that quote from your post so how fucktarded ARE my digits, hmm? It appears they can cut and paste and also point frantically at DeedleNick's poor, sexually frustrated bride while I scream, "HA! You poor orgasm-less schmuck!! Sucks to be you, sister."

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  4. Wordpress must be sneakier than I thought. Sounds like it's tracking IP addresses and relating them to an email address, if it didn't accept any old address.

    I hadn't realized that Needle is LuMu's brother in law. But given the other cruelties that LuMu has inflicted on her family, I guess making fun of the sister's choice in men is pretty tame.

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  5. Maybe the Moose and CV have told Wordpress to block those fake email accounts to keep preverts and wierdos from posting comments.

    Kudos to you that you found how to evade them!

    ReplyDelete