Happy Pi Day! Celebrate it by running 3.1415926 miles1 today!
If all goes as planned, this post should upload itself at 1:59 on March 14, thereby giving it a timestamp of 3.141592, or Pi. Actually, what with Pi being irrational3 and all, that there's just the beginning of Pi, or, if you will, a Slice of Pi.
And those of you who are Simpsons aficionados already know that the title of this post is a Klassic Homer Mmmmm ... Line. But did you know that my avatar to the right is a picture of Professor Frink (my doppelganger from The Simpsons) proclaiming "Pi IS EXACTLY THREE!" to a room full of scientists in order to get their attention when they won't shut up? (A hush falls upon the room as soon as he says it4.)
Pi Day is also Albert Einstein's birthday so needless to say it's being done up big in Princeton, where Einstein lived ... if you can call being in Noo Joisey living - hi-yooooooo!1!
Sorry if that caused you any pain Uncle Albert!
Any road, Happy Pi Day!1!
8:40 a.m. Addendum: Yeah, last night it was so warm and muggy that it was causing my very taint to sweat which now and then caused it to itch so on a couple of occasions I had to reach down inside the sheets, into the jammy pants, past all Teh Good Stuff (though there might have been a bit of dalliance here), and scratch my taint.
Upshot: This morning? My fingers smell like taint.
And I can hear you asking, "Glaven, why, knowing all this, would you smell your fingers?"
To which I must respond: "Pfffttt! Weren't you listening? They smell like taint! Delicious, yummy taint! That's why!"
1 Which, if you use Xenia math, is probably some variant of Teh Number of The Beast, and by "Beast" I mean "breast" and - continuing in the same declension - by "breast" I mean "nipple" and by that I mean "Does anyone have a homeopathic cure for nipple chafe?"
2 Except in fucktarded countries like teh UK and Kanadia and certain parts of crypto-Colorado that put teh day before the month.
3 Speaking of which ... far be it from me to suggest that all Fauxlipinas are irrational, because that would be racist.
But this one?
Bee-boop!1! Cukoo!1! Cuckoo!1! Cuckoo!1!!!1!
4 This is also the episode in which one of the scientists yells: "Frink, are you mad?! Put down that science pole!" And it is my considered opinion that one doesn't even need to know the set-up for that punchline to see it is hysterically funny.