Monday, March 15, 2010

Pi Is Exactly Three Point One Five!1!

Or so I declare1 because, due to a miscalculation on MapMyIrrationalNumber2, I ran 3.15 miles yesterday afternoon (Pi Day) instead of 3.14xxxxxx ....

So from now on, in all equations involving Pi, just round up to exactly 3.15, mmmkay?

Because yesterday I had intended to run like 8 miles; but then it started to rain and thunder and Ian and Teh 'Bride were all: "Boombies3! You can't run in this!1!" And I agreed it would be unwise.

So instead, I did 13 miles on Morrissey, my pussy-@$$ recumbent exercise bike. And then of course, in the afternoon, the rain and boombies stopped, so I decided, what the hey — might as well do a Pi run on Pi day.

And so I did. But, due to the above-mentioned SNAFU4, I ran 3.15 miles. And so, by Glavenic Fiat, that is now Pi.
Fucking5 Xenia with her fucking Mothering Day post has had me sitting around all weekend like a total pussy listening to some of Teh 'Mom's favorite songs; it started Friday afternoon at work, because I was alone in the IT office and could listen to youtube while I worked on the library's web site.

My Dear Departed Sainted Irish Catholic Ma loved the Moody Blues, and this song in particular could cast a Merlin's Spell over her:

And so now, today, it's raining (off and on) and nasty and kinda miserable out and I could  go for the 6 mile run I had planned, but I'm not gonna. I'll do some yoga and then, this being my late day, just go upstairs and sit on the sofa and watch soap operas and miss Teh 'Mom and sniffle and blow my nose into tissues which I'll then stuff up my sleeve and just generally be all, Hello, Mom, are you there? It's me, Mangina Glaven.

"And so who's the pussy-@$$ now?" asks Morrissey Teh Pussy-@$$ Recumbent Bike.

FUCK YOU, Morrissey Teh Pussy-@$$ Recumbent Bike!
1 Or, for my southern readers, I do declare! Lawsy!

2 Yes, the very same MapMyRun that is Dr. Nic's mortal enemy, his nemesis, the Lex Talionis to his SeptuagintMan. MapMyRun figures prominently in Dr. Nic's Origin Story, which, if you're not familiar with it, what fucking rock have you been living under, huh? GEEZ!1! I mean, the guy lives in Wisconsin! NOBODY lives there by choice! And yeah, Sherlock, MapMyRun is the main reason Dr. Nic lives in Wisconsin and can't leave because if he does he'll lose his license to practice full-release "medicine" — aka, Man-Whoo-wery — and, also, his right to own and operate a dairy farm (in Wisconsin, it's the exact same license — THANKS SO MUCH ex-Governor Tommy Thompson with your dumb-ass cost saving measures! Man, why are ALL people named Tom/Thomas/Tommy such DICKS2a!1!).

2a Not you, Peachy Escargot, unless you don't read this post, in which case YOU'RE A TOTAL F*CKING DICK!1!

3 Ian was deathly afraid of thunder as a baby and this is what he called it. And so of course we still call thunder that. Because we're all kinda developmentally arrested, is why.

4 SNAF=Stupid Numbers! Arrrrrghhh!! Fuck U!1!

5Adjective, not gerund.


  1. Nice save G...Let it be known that just because I live in Jaw-ja, doesn't mean I do not have my "Family"* connections in NY/NJ...There is a reason I had to escape, correction, MOVE to the south

    * By family I mean actual blood relatives and not Mafioso...but you really would hate to get on the bad side of my 76 year old grandmother...

  2. Indiana almost passed a law declaring pi to be exactly 3.14 and Oklahoma once had a law declaring it to be 3! (er, exclamation, not the factorial) And we all know how rational people from those red states are.

  3. ..and by red you mean redneck, right?!

    Glad to hear Morrisey is still around getting a thrill once in a while.

  4. Stupid fucking Xenia. Hey, wait a minute...that's me!

    Big hugs to you, G.

    Btw, what the hell is up with the multiple personality authorship of your blog, both of whom go by the same name?? Me thinks maybe I need some new glasses...

  5. It pains me to admit it G, but it's good to have you back online. Finalizing pi is the kind of thing only you could pull off.

    and although it may be like feeding beer to an alcoholic, i could use your input on this post:

    some things are too easy.

  6. What? You have a soft heart?

    You're a total momma's boy, aren't you? Bless her soul. ;)

  7. Awwwww... leave it to sweet Xenia to bring out the mangina in you, you big ol' softie.