Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday Routine

Just finished doing some exercise, then about 10 minutes on Morrissey (for a total of 3.5 miles and NO, BrianFlash, I'm not ready for the Olympics because Morrissey is my pussy-@$$ recumbent exercise bike, named after Teh pussy-@$$ Smiths singer in honor of his pussy@$$edness and so whenever you see me saying "I gave it HARD to Morrissey" that means I rode my bike and you can take THAT to mean whatever you want) and then did about 12 minutes of yoga with Rodney Yee, the whereabouts of whose junk is still a mystery to me but I suspect Morrissey1 is involved in some way better left to the imagination and if you hear a loud, high-pitched SQUEAAAAAALLLLL!!!!! coming2 from the area of South Joisey, that there is killah-@$$ed toyBuNz going to town imagining that scenario because in South Joisey? Yeah, the '80s never really ended.

Anyroad, today is the day we go to visit Teh 'Dad in Philadelphia and I just floated the idea to Teh 'Bride that we go later in the afternoon and stop for an early dinner on the way back at this pub in Lambertville that has both Fullers ESB and Chimay on tap; but Teh 'Bride shot that down because it won't be warm enough today for them to open their patio for dining (she claims) and whereas it's teh beer that is the attraction of this place for me, for Teh 'Bride? It's all about the al fresco3 dining exerience. Because neither Chimay nor Fullers is an especially dark beer and as I've noted before Teh 'Bride is an even bigger beer racist than Rush Limbaugh is an actual racist4.

So we'll go see Teh 'Dad after lunch, as usual, and instead of drinking a good beer, I guess I'll be brewing one, because I ordered 3 kits from my Minnesota supplier, Midwest Supplies, and they just arrived the other day, making me as giddy as Rush Limbaugh gets when his pusher arrives with his supply of white OxyContin pills.
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And speaking of Extremely White People and Minnesotans, here's The Continuing Story Of Super Fast SteveQ:


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1 Pussy-@$$ singer, not pussy-@$$ bike.

2 THAT'S WHAT SH- ... O, forget it.

3 Al Fresco, coincidentally, is also the name of the Guy Who Broke Morrissey's (singer's, not bike's) Heart and turned him into a Pussy-@$$ Singing Virgin Bog-Trotter With A Giant Irish Melon On His Shoulders.

4 Rush insists that all his illegal OxyContin and Viagra pills be WHITE because he's THAT principled!1! If he even sees a dark pill, he starts to shake even more violently than Michael J. Fox did when he was faking having Parkinson's so he could kill babies.

2 comments:

  1. After reading teh 4th footnote, I decided that there will be a special place in hell for you. I quickly remembered that Michael J is Kanadien and have since seen there error of my thinking and am electing you for sainthood....

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  2. Speaking of the 80s, hub & I watched "Hot Tub Time Machine" Saturday night, and he & I were HOWLING in laughter. It could be that a) it's our first date night in forever so even Sandra Bullock movies* could seem funny, or b) it was a funny movie.

    They even played a New Order song on there, which you know sent me into throes of ecstasy.

    * Too soon?

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