Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm A Victim Of Coicumstance!

Or perhaps a beneficiary of coicumstance, depending on your view.

By now you know I've been spending the whole of April attempting to be more Genteel toward readers of this blog by writing in a kinder, gentler fashion; and I've even been Paying The Gentility Forward in my comments on other blogs (in theory). And if you didn't know that before, you do now since you just read that last sentence.

Not to be unGenteel, but I'm already sick of this whole gentility thing, and it's not even mid-month. Because I've already slipped in a couple of my comments, here and there, and don't even bother looking for Gentility in my comments at  RBR's blog because pert-near every one of my comments there has been a mulligan because there's something about her that just bring out the essential Glaven in me, I guess, and even though she's PR'd twice in a week's time, there I go again in my comments calling her a transvestite, for which I hereby abjectly apologize, but in my defense, she is. A tranny, that is. At least I've heard started heard rumors to that effect.

But luckily, there are people like Neil Z, Intrepid Junior American (i.e., Kanadian), who caught me leaving a less than genteel comment on his blog, Because All The Cool Kids Are Doing It, and if you're wondering just what it is that all the cool kids are doing, it's this: moderating their comments, catching the unGenteel ones, rewriting them to be complimentary towards Neil, his blog, and Kanadians in general, then trying to pass them off as GQH originals. Because, evidently, all the cool kids in Kanadia are a bit anal.

See? Now that's what I'm talking about! That was uncalled for! I'm sorry, Neil! O, if only these new iMacs had delete keys on them but they don't (not that I've looked)! So now I can't even delete that (wait for it, RBR!) churlish comment! See, Neil was only trying to help me stay true to my April goal, and how do I thank him? By revealing to all 12 of you who read this blog that he's a Kanadian! Totally uncalled for.

Point is, this is hard on me (that's what sh- DAMMIT! can't say that!). Trying to be nice, I mean. It' not my nature. Look, we could go back in the archives of this blog and try to figure out just whose stupid idea it was to make me be Genteel for the whole of April but we're past that now and there'd be no point and we have to look forward not backwards, but for the record, as I recall it, it was all SteveQ's idea, an idea that quite possibly came to him when he saw God as he (Steve, not God) rode the crest of a Chocolate Wave during a near-overdose on home-made crystal-fudge. (I don't know any of those things for a fact, but it would be irresponsible of me not to speculate wildly.)

And so by "forward" I mean forward to May 1, on which date I intend to post the most obscenity-laden, insulting blog post ever posted. It'll be so toxic that even the State of New Joisey will say, "Hey! Yeah, I'm talkin' ta you, ya mook! You can't dump that here, knowwhutimsayin'?!"

But that'll be a loooooong 19 days from now.
Stretching and 5.2 miles in 15 minutes on the recumbent exercycle. Barely worth mentioning.


  1. Please note, at no time past present or future did I represent Glaven 'Q' Heisenberg. I innocently posted a comment on my own blog, from a fictional character, completely and randomly named Glaven "O" Heisenberg (I used my old boggle game to come up with the name, actually), which to my researched and fact checked knowledge, is a person who does not exist and is, again, complete and utterly made up.

    Thank you again for your pleasant journal.

  2. if you're wondering just what it is that all the cool kids are doing, it's this: moderating their comments, catching the unGenteel ones, rewriting them to be complimentary towards Neil, his blog, and Kanadians in general,...


    Current score: NeilZ(and all Canadians by association) 1 Big G(ok, biggish. Again, that is what he said) 0

    Also should be duly noted, your original comment on his blog about "hittin' that"? Classic G and a 2 snorter.

  3. Being genteel for a month was not my idea (though the being nice in comments if you're being nice in posts may have been).

    I've just set women's lib back 1000000 years on my blog. Comment away!

  4. Poor genteel GP. All these daggone bloggers bringing out the ungenteel in you.

    I'll try to post something sweet & calm this week to break the cycle. Maybe.

  5. just a quick note - as i am spiraling in a vortex of insanity here in youth services -
    but the mention of may 1st sounds v ominous...
    love, teh bride

  6. why won't this let me post a comment?!?

    love, teh bride

  7. oops -
    ok - i take it back

    love, tb

  8. Well, I for one had figured out Neil was Canadian. The quality shows, to them that knows. But then, Canadian blogs ARE the best. Feel free, if Joisy won't take the May 1 post, and deposit it in Toronto. They always claim to be a "World Class City", so they deserve a world class blog expulsion. Couldn't happen to a nicer city I'm sure.