Friday, April 23, 2010

TYCtWD: The Aftermath

Yesterday was Take Your Child to Work Day. So I took Ian to work.

I take him, not Teh 'Bride, because her county is fucktarded and they put the kids on a bus and make them travel all day to each county facility, which bores them and which totally defeats the spirit of Take Your Child to Work Day because you're separated from your child the whole day by this Forced Busing Fucktard Fiat. And so in Teh 'Bride's County System, the only kids who attend TYCtWD are like Freeholders' kids — because the Freeholders are the Self-Same Fucktards Who Came Up With This Great Idea of Treating The Kids Like Lost Luggage — and Directors'/Supervisors' kids — because the Freeholders can intimidate Directors/Supervisors into coercing their kids into attending because Directors and Supervisors in this county are hand-picked by the Freeloaders for their innate spinelessness and pussified personalities.

I was expecting Ian to be bored out of his skull and begging to leave by lunchtime — which is exactly what happened the last two years I took him. But since I set him up with his own PC, he was as good as gold and at 4:15 — 15 minutes till quitting time — he sez to me, "I don't want to go soon." I said, "You can sleep here if you want, but they stop paying me at 4:30, so I'm outta here!"

He reluctantly agreed to accompany me.

Here are some pix:

Yeah, nothing sez "gay" "paternal-filial love" like matching outfits, so Teh 'Bride tried to make Ian and me match as much as possible. The hands-in-the-pockets deal gives me that sexy pear-shaped look that all you skirts out there crave in a man. Look but don't touch, ladies! He's married! (Note: I originally did have an image of Ian and me here, taken outside our house just before we left, but I truly did look kinda "full-figured", so I thought better of it and decided to go with the approximation above, instead. I figured people will still be digesting (or even eating) their breakfast when they see this. You should thank me.)

This is the first pic I took of Ian at the library. He's in the admin area and Lothario Ian's already scored TWO HAWT library chix! Chip off the old block! WTG, Ian!
In Acq-Cat (Acquisitions and Cataloging), they let Ian be the first non-staffer to see this new book on the history of the Phillies. (It hasn't even been put out on the shelves yet.) Ian's a big Chase Utley fan, but I call him "Victorino" because when we go outside to play catch, he's dirty from head to toe within roughly 12 seconds and he always wants me to throw the ball so that he has to make a diving catch.

This pic was an accident, but I liked how it came out, so I didn't delete it.

This is what Ian did all day: Sit in front of a computer screen watching youtube.

Yeah, in fact, I think I know the lyrics to pert-near every Lady Gaga song now, because he spent a lot of time watching her various videos. Other things he watched: Snakeheads devouring various other fish ("Daddy, who do you think would win in a fight - a snakehead or a piranha?"). I had to put an end to that after about 10 videos. He also discovered all the videos of him, some of them years old, that I put up on youtube because I logged him in as me. Whenever I video him, he sez, "Daddy, don't put it on youtube!" And I assure him I won't. Then, I do because he's not the boss of me.

So I thought he'd be mad. But he was more interested in how many views his videos had. In fact, he put up a comment on one: "Everyone should watch this video or else!" In fact, when he found the vid of his volcano erupting, and noticed it had over 3500 views, he was ecstatic.

All-in-all, a pretty good day for us.


  1. Watching YouTube for a full 8 hour shift?

    Clearly an educational day. Ian totally met our "Workplace Readiness" ESLR (Expected Schoolwide Learning Results. Education is the only world that has more acronyms than a GQH post.)

    That is high school level learning there, my friend. Kudos! Teach him how to circumvent an internet porn filter and he is golden for success in high school.

    Ian is so damn cute. Thanks for a great post to start my day. (Damn it, this gentle shit is contagious)

  2. Ahh, yes and...


    *crabs for the crowd*

  3. I went to your channel to see what else you had on YouTube. Two vids of Ian in the bath and none of Teh Bride (in the bath or otherwise)?