Thursday, April 15, 2010

Unfortunate Names

So I'm hard at work on the Branches' web calendars for May and I come across a program one Branch is doing - doesn't really matter what it is - and the presenter's last name is "Kilbride" and I'm thinking Poor guy, name like that, must be hard for him even to get a date much less convince some girl to marry him.

I mean, maybe if he finds a girl with the last name "Assassinatehusband" or something. Playing field's leveled, in that case.

But suppose he does get married? To someone other than Ms. Assassinatehusband, I mean. His name is the perfect defense. If I were him, when the cops came, I'd be all: "You're arresting me? Come on! She had to've seen this coming!"

I think, just to be safe, he should change his first name to "Imnotgonna" - "Notgo" for short.


  1. So says the man who didn't know "Heisenberg" is German for "tinymeat."

    Perhaps "Q." means "not."

  2. Kinda lonely here in comment land...

  3. Some of have to work for a living now. Meaning my comment time is severely restricted. I hope you appreciate it, SteveQ. I'm working in a database that is just full of crazy names. Unfortunately, I can't share.

  4. Funny names of authors are what get me through my day. I just had one: Pu Wang.


    When I get a name like that I turn into a 12-year-old boy. Other classics include: Hung Wang, Happy Bongers, and Richard Weiner.

    Why yes, I have a running document of these. I've been keeping it for as long as I've been at my job (almost 7 years). It's truly something to behold. Mostly it's really stupid names, the kind that make you scratch your head and think, "Oh my god, what were his/her parents thinking?"

    Recent examples:

    Valance (curtains!)
    Philisie Starling
    Xylar Storm
    Galadriel Astra
    Kalb Thayer
    Heathe (forget an “r”?)
    Chevis Nacole
    Alias Jon Smith
    Magen Starr

  5. Thus far in my career, I've had the pleasure of working with the following people:

    Misty Moanee
    Ivan Drago
    Shih Ing Ting (Ing was the middle name...take out that and the name gets even better)

    Please do not report me to the Hippa Police

  6. (intentionally incorrectly spelled that 2nd last word to throw them off my trail)


  7. We (the herd) worked with a guy named who's last name was Hunt. We didn't like him much and called him "not Mike"

  8. The south is full of unfortunate names like that one. i wish i could remember more of them. But the first one that comes to mind is the name of a local hardware store "I.P. Rainwater, Tools & Hardware"