So I'm hard at work on the Branches' web calendars for May and I come across a program one Branch is doing - doesn't really matter what it is - and the presenter's last name is "Kilbride" and I'm thinking Poor guy, name like that, must be hard for him even to get a date much less convince some girl to marry him.
I mean, maybe if he finds a girl with the last name "Assassinatehusband" or something. Playing field's leveled, in that case.
But suppose he does get married? To someone other than Ms. Assassinatehusband, I mean. His name is the perfect defense. If I were him, when the cops came, I'd be all: "You're arresting me? Come on! She had to've seen this coming!"
I think, just to be safe, he should change his first name to "Imnotgonna" - "Notgo" for short.