Thursday, June 3, 2010

Enthuse Your Curbiasm

You may remember my curb complain from a couple weeks ago. I (foot)noted:
Yeah, it's a "curb" in kinda the same way that the bullshit coming out of Sean Hannity's mouth is a "logical argument": the latter's made up of words, and has all the parts, seemingly, of a rational utterance — save the actual rationality, possibly due to the speaker's constitutional inability to engage in actual thought, and therefore cannot be said to be rational, valid or in any way persuasive to anyone other than fellow-traveler douchebags; while the former, while made of cement and residing at the juncture of lawn and street, lacks the formal property of being uncrumbling and therefore cannot actually be said to be an actual curb.

And Fuck ME if I'm paying a grand to have some guy come and pour a new one — because the cheap fucking town isn't going to do it.

But you know what really gets on my tit? NOBODY else on our street has a collapsed curb! [I]t's the same fucking curb but when it gets to the front of our house, it fucking collapses! Then, it becomes structurally sound again starting at the property of the neighbor after us! DUBYA TEE FUCK?!1?!1
You thought I exaggerating, but here you go (the nano has already paid for itself in my mind with this video because IN YER FACE for thinking I lied!1!):


  1. Your voice in real life does not remotely come close to the your voice that has been in my head for the last year......kinda trippy....

  2. Worst of all, you are probably not allowed to fix, or to have the curb fixed. There is probably some city bylaw against it. Have you asked the relevant local government to fix it?

  3. Your new gadget allows you to make one of the all-time boring You Tube filmets. Let Teh bride take it away!

  4. I'd blame a kid on a skateboard. They're really easy to throw under the bus (or against a curb in your case).

    I agree with GeorgiaSnail...I thought you'd sound way more Joiseyish...

  5. Hmm.. uncharacteristically, I will disagree with Teh Peachy Escargot and Aleeece, I think there is plenty o' Joisey in there. Maybe even a little Joise Shore if I am not mistaken.

    If only your shadow showed the gold chains you are no doubt sporting with your partially unbuttoned Bowling shirt to complete the image.

    Hilarious! I do have to say I was one that thought you were exaggerating about the structural soundness of your neighboring curb, but honestly what do you expect with your acts of such extreme, civil disobedience?

    I mean, 1/4" weed trimmings left in the gutter? Dude, how have the feds not found you?