Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Needed: More Kankle Runs

As I was running my 6.43 miles this morning (in 1:00:20 for a craptastic 9:24 pace), I realized, as I slowly galumphed along in my pachyderm-esque way, that I hadn't done a Kankle Run in quite some time. This morning's pace proves1 that I need to start up again, because I have a 10k coming up in a couple of weeks; and it's a 10k I have run once before — in fact, it's the only 10k I've ever run.

But after I ran it (I PR'd, BITCHEZ!1!1!), I foolishly wrote on this other blog I used to have (which few people read, also) that, though I was not unhappy with my time in the race, I thought I could run a faster 10k than I had that day. Well, now, that's a pretty fucking stupid thing to put in writing, and even though I deleted the shit outta that particular blog long ago, the good people at Google, whose Eponymous Reader most of you use, have a slightly different definition of "delete" from , well ... let's just say "the marginally literate world", and so nothingNOTHING — ever gets deleted from Google Reader unless you unsubscribe from it.

Believe me on this, because, after reading the cringe-inducing archives of that old blog, I tried everything to get GR to let go. But GR is all, "O, Baby, I know you don't mean it, I know you don't really wanna break up with me, so I'm just gonna ignore all your threats & imprecations — you're soooo cute when you tell me to 'Go Fuck Myself' or to engage in other improbable sodomite activities! — and I'll just keep you forever and ever because I <3 U. Lookee here! While you were sleeping, I trimmed your n*ts@ck hair and made these here potholders ..."

Now, I have no reason to believe that anyone would still be subscribed to that blog after all these months — it's hard to imagine how anyone could possibly be that fucktardedly stubborn and even harder to imagine why — but it is a possibility, albeit a remote one, and so therefore ...

I feel I have an obligation to try to beat last year's time in this upcoming 10k because the old time is out there along with my stupid-ass rumination that I could better it.

Hence my need to do more Kankle Runs, because a 9:24 pace just isn't going to cut it.

This fucking sucks. Why can't I just keep my Big Stupid Keyboardhole shut?

I have nothing but anecdotal evidence (and precious little of that) to suggest that Kankle Runs in fact contribute anything toward making a person (i.e., me) faster; but I figure anecdotal evidence is better than no evidence; and sacerdotal evidence is better than anecdotal evidence; and, of course, n*ts@ckerdotal evidence is the best evidence of all.

But, on the burning issue of Kankle Runs, my n*ts@ck, alas, has nothing of use to impart to me. So all's I gotz is this anecdotal evidence.

So next week, I figure, I gotta start doing one Kankle Run per week. I might even start this week.
As I said in an UPDATE to yesterday's post, they got the times up for the 5-mile trail run yesterday. That's pretty quick. They got the race photos up even quicker.

Until the times went up, I had no idea who won or how fast they went or who won the AG awards, etc., because I had to leave before all of that because My Boy, Ian, won an Art Award for his Twittering Machine and we had to attend the reception they held for him! (And a few other young award-winning artists.)

Here is Ian standing in front of his Twittering Machine (above him). It's hanging right now in a museum in our mid-Northish Joisey county!

Since you can't see the work that well in the pic above (the camera blurred it), here it is alone. Ian's Twittering Machine is turning garbage into books.

Teh 'Bride and I are VERY proud of him! Our own little Paul Klee!
1 "Prove" here being employed in neither the scientific nor logical sense, but more in the "this doesn't prove a fucking thing" sense; aka, Teh Faux News sense.


  1. Stephen King's been turning garbage into books for decades!

  2. Lookee here! While you were sleeping, I trimmed your n*ts@ck hair and made these here potholders ..."

    See? I told my ex that was an acceptable gift! Then he all freaks the fuck out and gets a restraining order. WTF?

    Hoo. I do so appreciate a morning G fix. Coffee snorting notwithstanding.

    I love Ian's Twitter Machine! He is growing up so goddamn fast. Tell him to stop that. It is making me feel old. I already had to go public with my fucking gray hairs.

    Oh, and for the record Val Kilmer's carpet has not matched his drapes in YEARS!

    @ SQ: Only the last two decades. I like his early stuff. Come on, The Shining and The Stand (the real one, not the 'I need to make this shorter so someone will actually read it' version) are classics.

    One last thing, Sacerdotal, first word I have had to look up from you in a while. You are slipping.

  3. You used to have another blog?


    I used to read blogs religiously, you'd think I would've caught that.

  4. An obligation to try? You sound so motivated. Maybe someone should offer something in the event you actually did break last year's time. Just sayin'.

  5. Ian is a genius.

    You're definitely gonna PR at that 10K.

    Blogs never REALLY get deleted? Is this true?! 'Cause I mighta maybe had a blog of my own some time back, and I might kinda sorta be kicking myself in the ass for just dumping the whole thing. I don't want OTHERS to read it, mind you, but do you really think I could get it back somehow?