I went for my physical today (about which more anon), after which I decided I would do the inevitable — viz., shave off the hated beard, in which I never did get around to making a kisshole — but I figured I would do it on the spur of the moment, without even hinting to Teh 'Bride, or Ian, about my plans. So without further ado, her is pre-shave me:
This is me backwards because I took the pic in the mirror and as you can plainly see, I'm not smiling because it's hard (that's what she said) to aim at yourself in a mirror and smile because I was never good at multitasking and a few of you have said I should smile because maybe smiling would like offset the ugly, I guess?
So I tried again, this time holding the camera out at arms arms-length and shooting blindly backwards, like a fucktard:
So fuck all of you who told me to smile because now it just looks as though I'm happy to be ugly, WHICH I'M NOT!1!!
Anyroad, this isn't about me; it's about Teh 'Beard, which I intended to terminate with extreme prejudice, and did:
Again with the smiling?
What you probably can't see because I ensmallinated the pic is that there are flecks of blood on my rather capacious, lantern-jawed chin and also little bits of beard hair on my face, neck and upper chestal region. Only upper-chestal region today: sorry, ladies; no nips for you. You have to earn that.
And so now Teh 'B. can once again see those non-@$$al dimples that she missed, though Dog knows why she'd want to.
Later today, I hope to get my Flying Pig Race Report up, or, to put it another, better, more suggestive way:
The Flying Pig Race Report: I Hope To Get It Up.
Till then, live with this contrast:
Last year, I ran this Flying Pig 5k only because Teh 'Bride wanted teh piggie tee. And last year the tee was tasteful, just yellow with a drawing of a flying pig on it. (Some n*ts@ck-fondling fucktard seems to've deleted all the photos of that shirt, along with my old blog.)
So I ran it this year so I could get a flying pig tee.
And here's what this year's tee looks like (click to embiggen):
I wore "Pigasus" proudly to my physical this morning. Wouldn't you?
I mean, assuming you are a girl!1!