Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Last night, Teh Phillies retook 1st place by beating the Marlins 8-7 (while the Bucks beat the Braves 5-0). Placido Polanco knocked in the go-ahead (eventually, the winning) run with two outs in the bottom of the 8th1.

I, being a resident of the part of Joisey that gets NY channels, did not get to see the game, so I stayed up way past my bedtime to "watch" avatars play it on the MLB virtual doohickey that's available at and is (only slightly) better than nothing, I guess.

Anyway, one advantage(?) of the doohickey is it includes twitter feeds from knucklehead fans. And there is a steady stream of knucklehead tweets. So after Polanco knocked in that go-ahead run, I got to see him get some lurve, Philadelphia-style:

Now, in case you didn't click to embiggen that graphic above and thus didn't notice what that Phillies fan wrote down there in the right-hand corner, here it is, pre-embiggened for you (FYI: "POLLY" = Polanco):

Yep. That's a Phillies Fan.

I'll let you judge for yourself whether or not Placido has an oversized head:

That's a pic I took of Polanco when Ian and I went to the Phils v. the Giants game back on 8/18. (The Phils - as we say in Philadelphia - wan, 8-2.) He was tossing the ball he'd just been throwing with Wilson Valdez to a girl in the stands. (I damn-near intercepted that toss, till I realized it would probably make me seem like a total dick2. So I just took candy from the two-year-old next to me because no one was watching. He cried, but he'll keep his mouth shut about it if he knows what's good for him.)

No, our seats weren't as good as that pic suggests. Ian wanted to get there early enough to see the Phils' batting practice, so we got there like two-and-a-half hours before game time, but still managed to miss the Phils' batting practice (we saw the Giants', though), so we hung out behind the Phils' dugout. Ian brought a ball he'd bought especially to get Chase Utley's autograph; we saw Chase, but he wasn't giving autographs. No one was, it seems, other than Wilson Valdez.

The video below (WARNING: Turn volume WAY down, because there's a LOT of noise) is a hodgepodge of some of the videos I took that night edited together. It consists of:
  1. Me screaming like a girl when I caught my guy Raúl Ibáñez emerging from the dugout. It includes the world's worst RAUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL! 4evah.
  2. Puffy-faced3 Ian showing me the ball that he'd just got Phillies utility infielder Wilson Valdez to sign.
  3. A video of Ian and Teh 'S-i-L, whom we met at the game, as we told her about Ian's getting W. Valdez's autograph.
  4. Domonic Brown's 8th inning pinch-homer filmed from our vantage point in Outer Mongolia. (Ian loved these seats. He wants us to sit there next time. "Next time" being some time this month, if all goes according to plan.)

1 This was far from a pretty win: The Phightins made two errors that resulted in three unearned runs and Madson wild-pitched another run in. I mention the wild pitch separately because, for reasons that could make sense only to baseball statisticians, wild pitches are not errors. If it had been determined that Phils catcher Carlos Ruiz should have caught that pitch and it was thus deemed a passed ball instead of a wild pitch ... that would have been an error and an unearned run. But Madson's wild pitch? Not an error and thus an earned run.

Got it?

I should also mention that one of the errors was a throwing error by Jayson Werth that cost us a run. The Phillies fans, in typical Philadelphia style, roundly booed Jayson ... who is normally an excellent fielder and has thrown more than his share of runners out at the plate, including one just the previous day.

But what have you done for us lately, Jayson?

2 Or, to put it another way, like a typical Philadelphia sports fan.

3 He'd climbed a tree with a fuzzy vine at his daycare and evidently the vine was poison something-or-other because we had to take Ian to the doctor for a steroid shot after his face and other parts of his body (including his n*ts@ck) began to puff up and itch. You can hear me say he doesn't "look so bad anymore", which is a reference to his face's puffiness, which had gone down considerably by this time.

Ian needs to listen to more Elvis, because Elvis was a Prophet and he warned against doing exactly what Ian had done.

Teh Prophecy Has Come to Pass.


  1. Once again with the Phillies. (yawn, stretch) Whatever happened to beer, running, music, and witty but foul-mouthed diatribes on the topic of your choice? Excepting the Phillies, that is. At least there was footnotes.

  2. @ Keef -

    At least there was footnotes.

    Whatever happened to subject-verb agreement?

    "[Nitpicking grammar] is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

    - Samuel's Johnson*
    * (He had a talking Johnson.)

  3. Glaven shouting "Woooo!"... Time to put on your tiny red cowboy hat, tie the shirttails into a bow, chug a Corona/Mich. Lite/Other spew and ride that mechanical bull, while shouting "I'm so wasted!" to your girlfriends.

  4. My Twins have won something like 7 of their last 8 games, but have only increased their lead by one over the White Sox, who just keep winning too.

  5. Johnson said it was patriotism, you say nitpicking grammar and I agree with Lisa Simpson - it's prayer that's the last refuge.

  6. @SteveQ - Prayer is the last refuge of average foax.

    I was talkin' scoundrels!

  7. If you are going to write in a foreign language it is best to offer subtitles.

    I am just saying...