Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Rally Towels

Another Phillies Post, so this here graphic seems apropos:

Uh, by the way, I didn't make that graphic. You'd be surprised how easy it is to find "No Keef" graphics out there on the Interwebs. Or maybe you wouldn't be.

Ahem. Anyroad ...

So ... Teh Phightins won their division last night by beating the Nats 8-zip behind Doc Halladay's pitching (another shutout; another complete game; gave up only two hits, both singles1). The game wasn't televised (for those of us in Mid-Northish Joisey), but it didn't really matter for me because I was working the Reference Desk last night and surreptitiously "watching" the Phillies game on phillies.com; and so Ian calls the desk at like 7:40 to ask what the score is and I tell him 1-zip Phils, which it was at that point. And he sez, "Okay, bye" and hangs up2.

Now, Ian called me last Monday night, as well, but only to tell me to stop watching the game online because for some reason, the MLB network, which is a premium network you gotta pay extra for, was showing this game for free, which they occasionally do, just to entice you into paying for the whole season, which is gonna work with us because Ian and I have already decided we're shelling out for ALL the Phillies games next year because "watching" on the computer basically blows.

So Ian wanted me to wait until I got home to watch because he was recording the game. But HE kept watching until the Phils took a 3-1 lead and then he stopped. (They ended up winning 3-1.)

Anyroad, last Monday, the Phillies were playing the Braves, with whom we were in competition for first place in our division. And it was at Citizens Bank stadium in Philadelphia. And the Phillies gave all 45,000 attendees rally towels, which, in case you don't know, are these:

And so Ian, not having an Official Rally Towel, was waving Kleenexes in the air, and by the time I got home, there was a pile of wounded and torn Kleenexes all around the living room coffee table and Teh 'Bride's sitting amidst them and saying, "Those are Ian's Rally Towels."

By the next night, we were savvy enough to figure out that dish towels make much better Rally Towels. And we even have some reds ones — red and white being the Phillies' team colors.

This may sound obsessive, but it's not really, because here's some context:

"Rally", Teh Human Rally Towel:

Yeah, you know it's a Fox station when, upon hearing there's a "Granddaughter Baby Rally Towel", the news anchor feels the need to ascertain whether R. Towel is married because, evidently, Fox don't want to sponsor no Welfare Queen Bastard Towels.

Ahhh, Fox!
1 At this point I should perhaps repeat this:

... just in case Keef thought I was kidding above and kept reading after the first warning. Because this post is only gonna get more Phillies-laden as it goes along.

2 When I got home, I asked Teh 'B. if she even knew he'd called and she said she knew and told him he could because Ian told her, "Dad said I could call him if it was before 7:30" — quick look at the clock, which reads 7:40 — "I mean, 7:45."

I don't mind him calling me at all, but we never had this conversation, which the more astute among my seven readers have probably already figured out on their own.


  1. This morning I was running at the gym (I know, I know, I always bitch about treadmill running in California. Shut it. It was about safety at 4 am.) and I saw that the Phillies won their division, and I thought "Oh goodie, another goddamn Phillies post is coming"

    But you included an Ian anecdote, so not a wasted trip for me.

  2. Amazing how easy it is to be first on Phillies' related posts.


    But I will say it anyway


  3. @RBR - Wow. We all already knew you're more popular than I, but it just seems rather cruel and, yes, a bit low class for you to be rubbing my face in it.

    But I'll take the high road and just rise above it all by saying:

    Eff YOU, Tranny B!1!

    Hahahahahahahaha! You may be more popular, but I'm Miss Congeniality!1!

  4. I am officially cheering for the Phils. Only because Ex Jay DocH deserves a ring more than anyone ever...

    So i can keep reading, right?

  5. Most houses these days with empty Kleenex boxes are the result of watching "Minute to Win It."

    I'm still reeling from the embarassing Homer Hankies of the Twins of 1987. Give me a vuvuzela any day.

  6. We HAD a rally towel collection going. Only the Flyers one has survived - go figure.

    What was annoying about that Monday night was that I was working that night, & for some reason, every respiratory therapist decided to park themselves in one of our empty patient rooms & whoop it all out in the middle of the daggone night while I was trying to get my patients to go to sleep so they would STOP RINGING THEIR CALLBELLS ALREADY!!!!!

  7. Saw the Human Rally Towel at CBP No Hitter on Wed night. That woman really has team spirit - Saw her rallying the troops around Halladay that night - The fans really seem to love her - Check out this vid I found on YouTube.