Friday, December 10, 2010

Big Time

I realize that there are only six or at best seven people who endure the pain attendant upon regularly reading this blog and, yes, that fact does cause me at times to wonder why I even bother, as, no doubt, it does you six or seven foax.

But then there are things that happen just out of the blue that make it seem all worth while. One of them happened years ago, when Teh Marcy, who is now no longer among the blogospherically living, made me her first BotW (Blog of the Week), and I've been living off the fumes from that honor for, O, about two years now, just as that fat, bald guy who pumps gas at your local service station1 is still living off the fumes from that time, twenty-five years ago, when he was his high school's starting quarterback and was dating the head2 cheerleader, and was "earning" A's in all of his classes because everyone knew the team needed him and even though you only ever spoke to him once while he was pumping your gas, he still thinks you want to hear him reminisce about his glory days every time you come in to top off your tank and after awhile you just started going to a different station but - wouldn't you know it? - the attendant there was his high school's star wide-receiver so it's outta the frying pan into the fire for you because this guy evidently dated the anal cheerleader in his day and likes to talk about it and, really, at this point you've stumbled right past the realm of TMI into the land of Just Put A Bullet In My Fucking Brainpan Already.

But I no longer have to live off the memory of that happy time when Teh Marcy noticed me.

Because this morning I was looking at that new Stats tab Blogger offers and I see that I've been noticed by an even more prestigious site than Teh Marcy's:

Now, may sound as though it is a Polish web site devoted to something possibly running-related, but it's not. Now, my Polish is rusty, but even I know what it means when you go to a web site and its title is Porno. I assume that's Polish for, roughly translated, Sleaze.
And as you can see from the screenshot above, this blog doesn't feature just regular porno. O-ho-ho, no! It also features Filmy Porno, and my motto re: porno has always been The filmier the better.

Today's post at  includes this line:

"Przesłuchanie Sam nazywając ją luzu cunt się porno chętnie mu przyjemność."

I'm not sure what that means, but even if Sam is a luuuzer ("luzu"), still, if he's the subject in a sentence that includes the phrase "cunt się porno chętni", he's one lucky former Commie.

And it's probably my writing sentences like the one above that caused me to come to the attention of Polish porn blogs in the first place.

And that, genties and ladymen, is why I write those sentences.
 1 This is possibly a strictly Joisey Phenomenon now because we're the only state where, by law, gas stations have to have attendants that pump your gas for you. There are self-service pumps available at some stations, but nobody uses them. This is why Joisey drivers look like total fucktards when they try to get gas in any of the 49 other states. You non-Joiseyans are sitting there looking at the Joisey driver trying to figure out how to work your self-service pump, and you're tweeting, "sbj, is it true what they say abt all the neurotoxins in the water in that state? haven't u evr worked an effin pump b4, fwad? lol"

eff u. cuz no. we haven't.

2 So-called not because she was the leader of the squad, but rather because this was the sex act she was rumored to be willing to perform on the first date.

She was popular, but not nearly as popular as the anal cheerleader, who, in some high schools, was also known as "LuMu".


  1. Dang, now you peaked. Nowhere to go but down from here.

    Wow, that was just too easy

  2. Frankly, I'm concerned about the Russian real estate referring site.

  3. And "Fucking Brainpan" is my favorite site.

  4. I just read to see if you mention the Phillies so I can trash talk baseball in general, and the Phillies in particular. Though the music notes are interesting, especially when you're trash talking Dylan. And you escape the weenie charges, since as near as I can you're still running outdoors, though you do live in a sub-tropical climate. Running outside should not be temperature dependent. (That's actually a kertwang for SteveQ, since running is an outdoor activity. Swimming takes place in a pool or lake, and for much of the year here swimming in the lake doesn't work so well unless you can rent an icebreaker, and we all know the Canadian navy doesn't have many of them. Spin class takes place indoors too. So that's all natural. Just the running indoors is un-natural.)

  5. @Keith: nah, sports that you do recumbent or sitting are unnatural, like swimming and biking. The Canadian navy's famous for having only one icebreaker, used at parties: "So, did you have to rescue a triathlete today?"

  6. I believe this makes me reader #6. Sweet.

    Teh 'Bride must be so proud of your status in the polish porno industry. I know I would be if I was leg-shackled to you.

  7. Polish Porno! That's awesome and only you G!
    The most hits that bring readers to my blog are those "searching: IBS and Cabbage". I'm totally serious! My bowels are what make my blog! Geez, I for sure thought it would be my "snatch".......

  8. We always KNEW you were the king of filmy, Polish porn. "Glaven Q. Heisenberg", my ass. Your true identity is now out, Larry Flyntski. We could not be prouder.

  9. Am I the only one still sitting here wondering how someone got referred from that highly respected Polish blog to yours?

    And how on EARTH did you manage a referral from Sea Legs Girl? Damn. Yes, things are looking good, my friend.

  10. G--You won a bottle opener. Email me your mailing address.

  11. Egad's!!!! What a week you are having...first the polishish porno, then the bottle opener???

  12. I get bear sightings in Hartsville, SC and you get Polish porn. Impressive indeed.

    And look at all of the people who've commented. I suppose Polish Porn really brings 'em outta the woodwork!!

  13. Out of all that "fwad" is what made me laugh today.

  14. According to Google translate (Which is never wrong, of course): Hearing Sam calling her slack cunt porn happy to please him

  15. Ummmmm!!! Bigger news here, friend...

    How the fuck did SLG and Keith beat me as a referring site?

    I am VERY disappointed in my 4.5 readers. Very disappointed indeed!