Thursday, December 2, 2010

Naught But An Skellington (More Skin Revealed!1!)

All right, the second count-in song, seventh in order in the video, is this gem:

"A Muvvuh's Lament". By Cream, no less, on Disraeli Gears.

No, not an outtake added on the 30th anniversary CD release, or something like that. This is a song that was on the original album, released in 1967. A great, drunken three-part harmony, barbershop-type number. That's right, the band that is usually considered rock's first power trio — known for having recorded such hard rock gems as "Sunshine of Your Love", "SWLABR" and N.S.U.1—  included this one on their best album to warn unfit muvvuhs2 that their "skinny and finn boy-bees" should be washed in a jug —  IN A JUUUUUUG! (lest they go down the plug-'ole). Personally, I think you should have to pass a test proving you already know this before you're allowed to breed.
I haven't posted anything about beer, lately, but this product is as good a reason to as any:

BrewDog's "End of History Beer"3.

There are many reasons to love this beer, which I of course will never get to taste ... why? Because it costs $1000 a bottle. Why so much? Because it's 55% alcohol. <-- Reason #1 to love it.

Reason 2?


The bottles come inside stuffed dead animals. Klassy with a Kapital "K".

Reason 3?

That there is a stoat that's being poured from in the pic above. That's right — a stoat. I don't even know what a stoat is. (Well ... I didn't ... until I went to Wikipedia to get that link for y'all.) This could only be Klassier if they somehow made it so the beer came out the stoat's wiener4.

Reason 4?

That there is a squirrel-bottle on the right. Which I really wish I could afford, because it's Friday and it's Teh 'Bride's turn to chore which restaurant to eat at and she's choosing Hillybilly Hall (which you may remember form such posts as this one) and I just think a dead squirrel beer would go so well with my vittles, which will prolly be fried possum and grits.

Some douchesatchel Dutch Brewer claimed, soon after "End of History" was released, to have made a 60% alcohol (120 proof) beer called "Start the Future", but he achieved this feat by adding whiskey to beer, thus disqualifying it because whatever it is, it's not beer. (Beer aficionados in Holland have called this guys beers basically undrinkable.)

I think I once had a Sam Adams Utopia (27%), but that was as extreme as I ever got. To me the point of beer is to be able to drink it for prolonged periods of time, often lasting days.

One of these 55%ers and I'd be flat on my non-cushioned Irish @$$.

Still, I'd like to try one.
1 It would be worth your while to go here not merely to hear this song, but to read the following comment about it by littleyo797, made 2 years ago but still relevant today:
To all of the irreverent Britney-loving, rap-endentured pooh butts who were not around at that time, this song was a major hash-smoking tune at all the parties I went to when I was in the US Army in Germany in '72. Punks and 'hos these days have not the slightest notion of what constitutes decent music if it was delivered via a well-placed shank!
 Yeah, so take that, all you irreverent, Britney-loving, rap-endentured pooh butts!1! littleyo797 totally pwned you two years ago and you didn't even know it.

Until now.

Um ... Spoiler Alert.

2 Like, possibly, Britney.

3 BrewDog is a Scottish beer company. It figures. Other BrewDog beer names: "Trashy Blonde"; "Hardcore IPA"; "Tactical Nuclear Penguin" (32% alcohol).

4 Or Bett Favre's.


  1. (Not going to look it up)

    There was always a competition to get the highest alcohol content between Sam Adams and anoth Boston brewer, but they only got to about 21-23%, as even the weird yeasts used to make rum are only able to take that much and live. Beyonf that, you have to be talking about eisbeer, like EKU28, where you freeze the beer, leaving a core of unfrozen high-octane.

    But, inserting a squirrel with a bottle in it into one's rectum WOULD be a time-saver, over doing them one at a time...

  2. "another"
    damneg modifiers.

  3. I must've scared off commenters! The titles of Cream songs always bug me. SWLABR (she was like a bearded rainbow - apparently from the line "the rainbow had a moustache") and Badge (from when seeing the word "Bridge" upside down on the score and thinking that that, misread, was the title) just show sloppiness.

    Then there's the wasted talent of Jeff Beck. Quick, name a great Jeff Beck song. Yep, nada.