Thursday, December 2, 2010

Teh Slow Reveal

Calm down, Ladies! I'm not gonna reveal anything interesting, like my nether-goodies. Just the identity of one of the songs in yesterday's Count-In Post. Which I will hereby do, and yeah, even though I'm doing it early in this post? It still qualifies as a sloooooow reveal because it will take me at least another eleven daze to teasingly reveal the rest of the songs; so that's pretty slow.

Plus? I know, Ladies, that when you clicked that link that says "Teh Slow Reveal" you were expecting pix of my junk, which I am not supplying, and not just because I lack a camera with a wide-angle lens. More because I'm the shy and retiring type; I don't reveal my junk electronically. I'm not Brett Favre.

So this reveal is not just slow for you, Ladies, it's frustrating. Sorry. As compensation, here's a link to a video of Brett Favre's penis. (SPOILER ALERT!1! Mine's bigger.)

Anyroad, here is count-in song number 11:

Yep. "Taxman" by the Beatles. (Opening count-in parodied by the Monkees, here, because, let's face it, Teh Monkees were pretty cutting edge.)

And now, since you mentioned "Taxman", some interesting factoids about the song2.

This is the opening song on the Beatles 1966 album Revolver, which many consider to be their finest album. It's a George song, though John claimed George came to him for help with it "because Paul wouldn't have helped him". That great guitar lead in the middle of the song (and the end, where it is exactly the same because they just reused the solo from the middle and spliced it on the end for the fadeout), however, was Paul's. If you believe Geoff Emerick3, and you probably shouldn't, Paul played lead on "Taxman" because George was unable to play a competent lead for it. If you believe George Harrison — and you should — Paul offered to play lead and George was happy to have him do it.

The count-in for this song, by the way, is fake. Well ... not entirely. Underneath the guttural "one, two, three, four, one, two", you can still hear the actual count-in, which sounds as though it was done by Paul. George added the fake count-in after the fact.

George managed to have three of his songs included on Revolver, the most he had on any single Beatles album. (He had four on The White Album, but it was a double album.) The other two are "I Want To Tell You" — later covered (or, depending on your point of view, shat upon) by Lunatic Fucktard Dittohead Ted Nugent — and the India-influenced "Love You To", so (mis)named because George typically waited till the last minute to give titles to his songs4, and "Love You To" (yes, to with one "o") is probably a transcription error. The phrase does not appear in the song ("I'll make love to you", however, does) and this title was probably scribbled down in haste at some point when the deadline for printing the album sleeve was upon the group. If anyone noticed the title made no sense, they weren't bother by the fact. It's possible the error was noticed but George liked the error and so kept it.

George wrote "Taxman" when he realized that Britain's progressive tax rate (at the time) literally taxed rich people's excess wealth at 95% ("there's one for you, nineteen for me," quoth the titular Taxman).
1 Okay, this is not the FIRST count-in in the video I made — it is, in fact, the second — but I'm doing the reveal in no particular order, teasingly stripping off a sock, then slowly unbuttoning my shirt, then removing my glasses (sexy!), then possibly my retainer (unless you'd prefer I keep it in, because that's HAWT!1!), then maybe loosen my truss a bit (I am a 50-year-old geezer, after all) ... because what fun would it be for you, ladies, if I just ripped my pants off and let it all hang out? Where's Teh Romance in that?

Anyroad, y'all made exactly ZERO guesses at the songs included in that video, so you don't get to complain.

2 Hey, fuck you! If you didn't want me to talk about the song, why'd you bring it up?

3 The EMI recording engineer who worked with the Beatles and George Martin on most of the Beatles' studio recordings and author of a memoir about that experience titled Here, There and Everywhere. I say above (SPOILER ALERT if you haven't read the 4 words after the superscript "3", above!1!) that you probably shouldn't believe Emerick because some of his claims are just wildly unbelievable, especially some of the ones he makes about George. When I finished the book, I really wondered if the guy had a problem with George because in Emerick's memoir, poor George is essentially portrayed as a borderline incompetent guitarist until at least 1967, and possibly beyond. There's really no other way to put it. For example: Parts of "All You Need Is Love" were recorded live for the "Our World" TV broadcast in the summer of 1967 (the Beatles were picked to represent Britain in this world-wide broadcast); George's lead guitar solo is one of the elements that was live. It's not a particularly long or outstanding or even difficult lead, but Emerick portrays George as obsessively worried he'd hit a "clam" (a bad note), and even claims that George did, but they fixed it in post production so you can't hear it. George had been playing live professionally for roughly a decade at this point, but Emerick routinely portrays him as incapable of nailing even the simplest lead.

One of the reasons I consider it safe to dismiss G. Emerick's recollections out of hand when they seem to strain credulity is that he manages to get empirically-verifiable factual information plain wrong at times. For instance, when the promotional copies of the Beatles single "Penny Lane" were given to certain radio stations in the US before the official release date, the song included an additional flourish of the piccolo trumpet at the end of the song. These notes were deleted from the official release.

Emerick, however, gets this story exactly backwards, apparently believing the official release is the one with the flourish at the end. That is just factually incorrect, and easily verifiable.

There are numerous errors of this type in Emerick's memoir. Allegedly, some of the more egregious ones were corrected in a later edition of the book, but these were errors of the type that

1. Should never have been made by someone even passingly familiar with the Beatles output, much less their recording engineer


2. Really should have been caught by the book's editor. But, to restate point 1, above, they should never have made it to the point 2 stage in the first place. But Emerick proves, over and over again, that his memory of how things went is unreliable, at best.

4 "Love You To" makes a ton of sense, though, compared to the song's working title, "Granny Smith".

In 1968, the Granny Smith apple would go on to become the iconic apple type used on record labels by the Beatles' Apple Corp:


  1. Why would I want to click thru to see Brett Favre's package???? Come on G, gimme something better than that. He's so old and wrinkly and NOT ATTRACTIVE. Peeeeeee-uuuuuuuuuuu.

  2. Geez, I'm even bigger than Brett Farve! Gotta admit though, I never really paid much attention to this whole story since he did bring us Wisconsinites a Superbowl, but that chick looks a lot like his wife.....hmmmm, interesting!

  3. I recently discovered that the US's highest income tax rate during the Eisenhower administration was 98%. Oh, how progressive was Ike, compared even to liberals of today!