Monday, December 20, 2010

Unfinished Businesses

In this post, I edited together a series of (mostly well-known) song count-ins and promised to reveal all of them to you. I got to the third revelation and got as bored with this series of posts as you foax evidently were from post one.

So to get it over with, here's the video again:



And here, in order, are the songs and artists:
"I Saw Her Standing There" (Beatles)
"Taxman" (Beatles)
"Wooly Bully" (Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs)

"Instant Karma" (John Lennon)
"Slip Kid" (The Who)
"Good Lovin'" (Rascals)
"Mother's Lament" (Cream)
"Yer Blues" (Beatles)
"Vertigo" (U2)
"Sgt Pepper (Reprise)" (Beatles)
"I've Been Away" (Who)
"All Your Toys" (Monkees)

There. Done.
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At one point a few months ago, I had an idea about writing a post the ultimate point of which now escapes me, but it was going to be one in which I portrayed myself as both the "before" and "after" in a Rock Hard Abs type ad. I sucked in my rather capacious gut and tried to take the "After" pix first, but they turned out so pathetic — in fact, so patently "Before"-looking — that I just gave up on the whole idea. These, below, were the two best Supposed-To-Be-"After" shots, which I thought I might be able to tweak into looking more "After"ish in Fireworks, but decided, ultimately, not even to try:

I couldn't get the stupid fucking camera not to flash and so that there is why you see the reflections of the flashes in the mirror. I wanted the pix to be darker so that they would be murky enough that I might be able to pass off the fat ripples as, like, Ripped Muscle Lines, but as you can see that didn't work, either.

Also, I have what one doctor who examined me called (no lie) "Asymmetrical Chubs". "Chubs" was his word for what the rest of the world calls "Love Handles" or "Muffin Tops" or "Lard-A$$ery in the Waist-al Area". What he meant by that was that the Love Handle on the left there — which would seem to be my right-side Chub but, correcting for mirror-reversal, is actually my left-side Chub — is noticeably Chubbier than my right-side Chub, depicted, above, on the right, seemingly making it the left-side Chub, but actually being the right-side Chub because of mirror-reversal spacetime distortion.

So, in short, I'm even more of a fat-@$$ on my left side.

But this asymmetry is only in the Chubbal area! (An ectopic pregnancy?) Because my left arm isn't fatter than my right nor is my left leg fatter than its right-side counterpart and my moobs are pretty symmetrical (full; round; nourishing-looking) and both of my nuts are roughly the same size, a fact I can assure you of because I just spent at least an hour-and-a-half ... um ... let's say "manually measuring" them. Weird!
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This here below is an actual Xmas Flag I passed on one of my runs around town. You'll need to pause it at the 20 second mark to see what I'm talking about:

Yep. An Irish Holy Family: O'Holy Night. With the apostrophe and everything. 

Jebus Was A Mick!
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Okay, here's the last piece of crap flotsam that I had sitting around unpublished in my blogger account:


This is little Ian going (sonically) backward in time because I synced some of the mp3s of him that I made over the years to these videos of his baseball team. "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" is from like 6 years ago, when he was 5; "Baby Homer!" must be from when he was like 3; and "Merry Christmas!" is from when he was probably less than 2.

Incidentally, Chris (aka, "Wombat") and Vicki's baby is named Abigail, not Homer, and she's like 8 now.

3 comments:

  1. Other than make me nauseated & dizzy, that running vid for O'Holy Night didn't do much else until I carefully paused at 00:27.

    What's up with making me work?

    S'alright tho. The almost ripped abs pic with asymmetrical muffin top was worth it.

    HUBBA HUBBA!!!

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  2. I hope you counted that little loop in your distance total.

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  3. OMG! You have an ectopic pregnancy, too?!

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