Wednesday, December 22, 2010

An Update On Yesterday's Post And An Awkward Transition

In a development so ironically apropos that, in retrospect, it seems almost inevitable — seems almost to have been willed into existence by my wide-eyed, innocent post of yesterday — Teh 'Bride, at around 3:00 p.m. yesterday, forwards me the following e-mail that she received from the account of one of Ian's teachers:
Dear mom

I was being silly and playing with my friends when it was class time and not doing my work when I was supposed to. I will have a lunch detention today also.
Iam sorry and it will never happen again.
So, yeah — Ian was in lock-down last night.

Teh Titular Awkward Transition


Above is a screenshot of the search terms that, according to the new Blogger Stats Tab, somehow brought foax to my blog yesterday. I have circled the particular set of keywords that I will be referring to in my comments below ... in case you're profoundly fucktarded and couldn't've figured it out for yourself. I will not repeat those words because that will only bring more Filmy Porno-Loving Poles1 (presumably) to my blog and I don't need any more Poles because I'm swinging enough pipe on my own over here2.

In any case ... First Thought: I am not sure when, if ever, I used those particular three words in proximity to each other on this here blog, but if I did, I think it was by accident.

Second Thought: Four? Four people made that search yesterday and were brought3 here? Unlucky them.

Third Thought: Lucky dad.

6:10 Update: I soooo did not want to run this morning and nearly blew my run off because I got so little sleep last night, even by my meager standards. But I've been up since like 3:00 a.m., so what else was I gonna do with all that time? Look at Filmy Polish Porno?

So I forced myself to run and I didn't even bother to plot out a distance beforehand and I was cold and wanted to stop after each and every step but I managed to gut it out for what turned out to be 5.13 miles in 48:25 which is roughly a 9:24 pace which sux by any objective standard but I'll take it because it's way faster than the 10+ minute pace I thought I was on.

Insomnia blows.
1 Yeah, "Poles", here, in whichever sense you want. Today is "Make Your Own Double Entendre Day" because why should I always have to do all the work?

2 Sorry, Reader, you were too slow so, yeah, I took teh double entendre-making into my own hands.

Which is not the only thing I took in my hands, if you get my filmy porno drift. (There's your rare triple entendre, which, seemingly, would bring things back into the realm of the innocent, but doesn't.)

3 Yes, I know, we were all taught in grammar school to eschew the passive voice whenever possible, and "were brought" is hella passive, but I thought it, under the circumstances, preferable to "came".


  1. Hilarious. All of it. I needed a laugh today.

    Happy Chanukah Mr. Heisenberg.

    BTW, have you ever seen the show Strangers with Candy? It's right up your alley.

  2. I find "Irish lawyer jokes" MORE offensive than a pussy-licking dad.

  3. Even though many people would consider the athletic literate blogging community to be just a little strange, at best, those search terms reassure me that we are the normal ones.
    Poor Ian. It must be hell being a kid these days. I am reasonably sure that at least some of the kids now growing up are going to deeply DEEPLY regret some of what ended up on youtube and facebook. And some "grownups" too, I suspect.

  4. You do have to wonder how that lead to your blog. And four times?!

    When I mentioned the humorous search "Catra Corbett thong" landing someone at my blog, it of course reinforced the linkage and it led to my blog two more times (I'm assuming by the same perv).