Saturday, January 1, 2011

Lame YERU Post Part 2

I warned you in yesterday's post that I wasn't finished with the lame YERU Posts, so, as promised, here's Part 2, starting with the video, below.

Some context: This is Ian and Teh 'Bride trimming our tree. I don't help with that because it's not my cup o' tea. I do, however, put the star on top of the tree. This video is long and boring and I barely edited it at all; the only interesting thing about it is that I took it with my iPod nano, discovering, quite by accident, that the nano has certain video effects which are on display in this video. The video makes use of maybe half of the ones available. There's maybe one other interesting thing about the video, which is this: Teh 'Bride evidently thinks saying "Play it again, Sam" in a Betty Boop-type voice qualifies as a film noir-ish line. The truer, more heartfelt line comes next: "I don't watch any classics."

So I stop by Cletus's blog the other day to wish him a Happy New Year because I'm a fucking prince of a guy and what do I get in return? I'll tell  you what! This:

I wish him a happy new year and what does his blog wish on me?


Not cool, Cletus. Not cool.

Yesterday's post was all about how much I evidently love myself (I have gone all the way with me  — HIGH-FIVERS!1!!), what with its self-congratulatory litany of PRs and the like.  So for a change of pace, I thought I'd make this part 2 post about how much you people like me even though I don't like any of you enough to go all the way with you.

So here's some data that has been collected over the past year that pretty objectively shows who likes me and how much each of you likes me, which you all may find interesting; but to me? Yeah, it's really more disturbing than anything else.

You're probably gonna need to embiggen that to see it better, which you can do by just clicking on it.

The first thing you probably notice is that RBR seemingly has the biggest, essentially jet airplane-sized crush on me because she referred people to my blog 747 times. But that would be drawing a false conclusion because, while she does, yeah, link to my blog a lot? Her links are usually accompanied by pix like this:

This kinda sends me a mixed message of sorts ... yeah, RBR has sent quite a few foax to my blog over the past year ... but she sends them here to tell me to go fuck myself. Well, the joke's on her because I already have! (See above where I brag about going all the way with me.) Hahahahahaha! In YER FACE, B*TCH!1!

Next thing you notice is that, with 597 referrals to me over the past year, Keef is pretty gay for me, or, to put it another way, he's Kanadian.

Next, gaying weighing in at 373 referrals is Barefoot Neil Z., who is basically Keef-lite, being roughly one-third less gay for me Kanadian.

Skipping around now'll notice that sea legs girl Daned deigned to refer 109 people to me over the past year, which I mention for two reasons:

First, because BrianFlash, with 110 referrals, beats her out by one lousy referral, so Way To Lose Out To A Guy Who Identifies With Possibly Teh Lamest Of All Teh Comic Superheroes (With The Arguable Exception Of Aquaman), Sea Legs Girl!1!

Second there's this:

This is slg's blog's actual Header Picture which you will need to click on to see in its actual size. If  you decide to do that ... I advise you to step away from your computer for a while, go have a beer or something, and come back in like a half hour, because it will take that long for the picture to download; if you sit around waiting for it to load, you, too, will be looking slg-ishly at your watch impatiently, and possibly tapping your foot on the ground, too, because the picture is FUCKING BIG! Her blog did not allow me to copy this picture, so I had to do it with screenshots, and I had to do two of them because the whole picture wouldn't fit in one browser window — I had to page down once and take a second screenshot to get it all. Then I had to edit it back together in Fireworks. So no, that crease you might just be able to discern across her midsection is not a caesarian scar.

Next, I note the passing of both Lauren — who stopped blogging, then came back, then disappeared again — and Teh Loose Moose, who retired from blogging to, as she put it in her last post, "spend more time in [her] Anal Pleasure Palace." I'd link to the post where she said that, but, alas, her blog is gone. Which I guess is proof enough that she said that. Between the two of them, Lauren and LuMu, despite being blogospherically defunct, sent 35 foax here to my blog.

Thanks to all who visited in 2010. If I didn't mention you by name it most likely means I hate your guts! Hahahahahaha! Just kidding! It most likely means I haven't even noticed your existence.

Happy New Year!


  1. What a way to start the year - coming in last place in a Glaven-link-a-thon. This puts everything in perspective.

    Happy New Year.

  2. I'm glad to know that my blog is still out to get you even if I haven't personally thrown any good kertwangs your way in a while. And it also give me comfort to see my blog listed higher than your own blog in the link list. I may not be as tranny as RBR, but I still bring the goods I guess.

  3. You know, I think more people passed through my blog to get to yours, than actually read mine. Cause we all know I don't actually read you. Too many Phillies posts and I'm afraid I'm going to catch something.

    Oh, and the trimming the xmas tree video? Great minds think alike, but my video has been up a week now. Get with the program, eh!

  4. "...And then erase it!". NOT!

  5. Ohhhhh I am number 8 on the list!

  6. Aw, shit. Do I need to defend myself again?

    First, you are the only person on the planet who doesn't adore a life-size Sea Legs Girl.

    Second, I actually TRIED to change the whole format of my blog just to make the header picture smaller (just for you, Glaven - remember that) and I actually thought I had lost my entire blog for a half an hour. No joke. In the end, I managed to get the old format back - but I was ready to come to New Jersey and beat the living daylights out of you.

    NOW - Remember I have only referred to your blog for a couple months now. What does that mean? Next year, you may get over 50% of your referrals from me - so YOU HAD BETTER BEHAVE. This is no joke. Your entire existence actually depends on Sea Legs Girl. So when that screen opens with the big picture, you had better get down on your knees and WORSHIP.

    Okay, it was a joke. Sort of.

  7. 2nd from the bottom!!!! Sweeeeet, I'm not bringing up the rear!

    Happy New Year!

  8. Oh Cletus, you are every bit as tranny as me. Don't fret.

    Laughed until I cried. Best video you have EVER put up (of course, I liked the curb diatribe, so take that with a grain of salt, fellow readers)

    I was laughing so hard that Mr. RBR had to come investigate and Teh Bride's dance even got a chortle out of him (high praise in Mr. RBR Humorland)

    @SLG: " had better get down on your knees and WORSHIP."

    For the record, I hear G pays extra for that kind of talk. You may have tapped into a goldmine!

  9. About 900 of those Blogger referrals were probably me pinging back and forth between blogs. I'd say 53 referrals from my site's pretty good, considering I have none (NONE!!!) from yours.

    Oh, and Teena Marie died. Gotta start the year right.

  10. According to my stats, someone logged onto my blog at midnight on New Year's. Hope that loser's in another time zone.

  11. Love you too G!

    BTW... I should get some credit/blame since I am pretty sure that RBR found you from my blog...

  12. You hate my guts??? Whatevs. My guts hate your guts. And you can double stamp it to infinity.

  13. I see that Lake Superior State University (the Harvard of the so-small-I haven't-heard-of-it-though-it's-probably-close-by colleges) has listed its annual words and phrases to not use in 2011 and at the top are "epic" and "fail." I hadn't used either in 2010: Epic fail!

  14. 22....wedged between LooMoo & a blog that has not been updated since 2006?!?!1! Nothing wrong with being wedged behind LooMoo but 2006? Hmm, I need to try harder....