Thursday, January 13, 2011

Morrissey LIVES!1! PLUS ... Etc.

Yesterday we got like 6 or 7 inches of snow and, even though the boro managed to clear the roads quickly and well, I had to stay home because we got the "School will be closed" robo-call last night and someone had to stay home with Ian, so I did. Tough life.

Made this here video to share the experience with you:

I just finished my morning workout; I guess I could have gone for a run, but I opted not to. So I did exercise, yoga, stretching, and 10 minutes on Morrissey (3.5. miles). All told, about an hour's workout.

Yesterday I did 10.1 miles in an hour on Morrissey. In order to reach my goal of running 1200 miles this year, I'm obviously going to have to average 100 per month. It's far more likely I'll ride Morrissey for 100 miles this month than that I'll run that many miles, because as it stand right now,

Running: 30.91 miles
Biking: 45.5

With any luck, I'll get at least 80 running miles in this month and I'll make up the other miles during the less inclement months. The suck-@$$ thing about being a morning runner is you're always running in the dark, especially this time of year, so slipping on ice is always a possibility, even when there's very little ice to be slipped on. I wear a headlamp1 but that enables you to see only very large hazards, like parked cars and such, which I have been able to avoid running into. So far.

But I had the headlamp on the other week when I ran into that Rogue Snowpile (which appeared out of nowhere when pert-near all the other snow hereabouts had already melted) and my seeing it didn't save me from jumping in the wrong direction and landing on the uneven juncture between road and driveway curb and ending up twisting my ankle, etc.2 So short of wearing a klieg light on my head, there's very little else I can do, which is why, instead of running this morning, I gave it — HARD!1! — to Morrissey.

I suppose I'll have to run tomorrow morning and I should really try to run an extra mile or two to make up for my laziness and fat-@$$ery.

Speaking of fat-@SSery, there are quite a few people out there (so far I've counted three) who have made a goal of losing weight. There's Cletus, who's already lost quite a bit and at the rate he's going there won't be anything left of him to make fun of soon, so I'm gonna get as many shots in as I can now, such as this: Even as a fat-@$$, he was already far too enamored of himself, taking every opportunity he could to post pictures of his shirtless bloated, pasty-white, Irish torso; this trend will only get worse, I imagine, as he loses more and more of that avoirdupois. On the plus side: I can always just go to his site if I feel the need to purge.

Also losing weight: Teh Peachy Escargot. And I noticed Sarah (D-MI) has also vowed to drop a few.

I like beer, especially good beer, which tends to be very calorie-laden. Inspired by those foax above, I am giving serious thought to giving up beer for February (the shortest month, not that size matters) to see if I can manage to drop a few myself. This is not a resolution, but more an experiment, because I have a feeling already that this "experiment" will fail on approximately the first Friday night of February. But in any case, I think my fat Irish @$$3 could stand to lose a few and I'm gonna give it a try.

I started Pericles yesterday afternoon and am approximately halfway through. I know this thrills all of you because, yes, I'll be writing about it when I finish.

1 Because I'm 50 and I believe safety comes first; and also, at 50, I realize, headlamp or no, my chances of being attractive to young hawties are essentially nil, so I might as well be safe with the headlamp. Plus? Then at least I can attribute the young hawties' laughter to the headlamp, as long as I ignore what they're saying, which is, "O my GAWD, lookit that old dude! He's so OLD!1!" Which I manage to ignore by alwayd having my iPod on so I can listen to music that is twice as old as the young hawties.

2 There. I just saved you a clickthrough to the post where I took like 2000 words to describe that self-same event after it happened and just now you only had to read like 15 words to get the exact same information. So don't you fucking dare even think about complaining at having to come way down here to read an irrelevant footnote, because you're still ahead of the game, time-saving-wise, you ingrate.

3 Hahahahahahaha! That is of course figurative language because, as an Irishman, my @$$ is about the only part of my body that just has NO CHANCE of getting fat. Fortunately I have been compensated for this by being ... let's just say "front-loaded".

Am I turning you on, Ladies?


  1. WOW! Zero comments. I guess you have no family or friends. Does any one read this drival?

  2. G- are you flaming your own blog now? The snow storm must have taken hold...

    Dropping a few pounds will improve running...and maybe a lighter G will put less stress on Morrissey...

  3. oh yeah, FIRST!?!!?!1! (in the non-troll division)

  4. Let's face it, all blogs are, at their core, mostly just self-serving drivel. The sooner you embrace this, the more fun you will have.

    And yes, I have had enough of the "winter tube" one tends to grow in Michigan during the colder months, except my 2010 winter tube lasted through the spring, summer, and fall and now it's 2011 and I have to get the situation under control. I actually RAN this morning before work. It's a start.

    Also, to answer the final question: no.

  5. I cannot sign in when I just visit blog...but if I log into my blogger account on my page first, I'm signed in when I get here. I just figured that out because I'm writing a post and am logged in. Weird, huh?

  6. You forgot me on your list of fatty bloggers, G. I'm not sure if I should be happy or insulted by this. I'll go with happy.

    Loved the video. You're totally inappropriate but I loved every second of it. :)

  7. P.S. I used the phrase "useless little nubbin" in a comment on JoyRuN's blog. Aren't you glad I didn't find a way to insert that into a comment here?

  8. gavin, have you tried any of the microspikes or yaktraks for shoes? just a suggestion for running on icy surfaces.

    second suggestion, get a second light source and attach it to your belt [or carry it in your hand]. the two light sources will allow you to see things in 3d. one light source on your head tends to wash out detail and show everything in 2d.

    finally, i think you're right about the adoption thing. thunderclap never cleans up his toys, is always asking for me to read to him [learn how to do it yourself already!], wipe his butt [see previous parenthetical comment!] and pull up his underwear [AGAIN!]. when, oh when, will he start carrying his own weight?!?

  9. Just got an email from the Tranny; she's fine - just busy. I'm thinking of dropping a couple of pounds just to make her stamp her foot petulantly.

  10. I don't need to lose any lbs, I'm already well toned!! Wink-wink!

    I agree with "jeff"....check into something for your shoes while out on the ice. 6-7inches of snow is nothing....shit, that's just a dusting!

  11. I know nothing of this "ice" you speak of running on (yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition...whatever!)